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| Written by Misty-Eve | ||||||||||||
| Saturday, 19 July 2008 | ||||||||||||
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My husband and I are separating this week-end. I finally got my car back yesterday, so he no longer feels the need to stay to help me get around, and he has plans of his own that have been delayed while he has been helping me. So, I guess, today's the day, that he will complete his move into his new place, and my daughter and I will begin our own new life as well. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kahlil Gibran, in the book entitled The Prophet, said this when asked about… GOOD AND EVIL “And he answered: Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil. For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst? Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters. You are good when you are one with yourself. Yet when you are not one with yourself you are not evil. For a divided house is not a den of thieves; it is only a divided house. And a ship without rudder may wander aimlessly among perilous isles yet sink not to the bottom. You are good when you strive to give of yourself. Yet you are not evil when you seek gain for yourself. For when you strive for gain you are but a root that clings to the earth and sucks at her breast. Surely the fruit cannot say to the root, "Be like me, ripe and full and ever giving of your abundance." For to the fruit giving is a need, as receiving is a need to the root. You are good when you are fully awake in your speech, yet you are not evil when you sleep while your tongue staggers without purpose. And even stumbling speech may strengthen a weak tongue. You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps, yet you are not evil when you go thither limping. Even those who limp go not backward. But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness. You are good in countless ways, and you are not evil when you are not good, you are only loitering and sluggard. Pity that the stags cannot teach swiftness to the turtles. In your longing for your giant self lies your goodness: and that longing is in all of you. But in some of you that longing is a torrent rushing with might to the sea, carrying the secrets of the hillsides and the songs of the forest. And in others it is a flat stream that loses itself in angles and bends and lingers before it reaches the shore. But let not him who longs much say to him who longs little, "Wherefore are you slow and halting?" For the truly good ask not the naked, "Where is your garment?" nor the houseless, "What has befallen your house?" ~ Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ASSIMILATION: QUOTE OF THE DAY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” ~ Walter Anderson “Gain and loss, birth and death are in the hands of God.” ~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba (b.1926) Indian Spiritual leader “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~ Norman Cousins (1912-1990) American Essayist and Editor, long associated with the Saturday Review. “Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight.” ~ Marcus Aurelius "Adaptability is not imitation. It springs from awareness of the contrast between resistance and assimilation." ~ Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian spiritual and political leader, called Mahatma "great soul" “The major question to be pondered is whether we can develop an identity that will enable us to meet the outside world without feeling threatened or intimidated. We can absorb from others without being smothered. We can appreciate and assimilate that which we see as wisdom while at the same time feel firmly anchored to our particular frame of reference.” ~ Rabbi David Hartman, “A Different Light” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A LESSON FROM LOSS ~ by Sarah Ban Breathnach It was just another manic Monday for Nancy, Cheryl, Valerie, Kathleen, Gilda, Elizabeth, and Patricia. It was just another business trip, another swing on the flying trapeze. Children were kissed and sent off to school; babies were left with sitters; spouses were reminded about soccer practice, the casserole in the freezer, the laundry that needed to be picked up. The day was frazzled or pleasant, successful or disappointing. Does it really matter? At the end of it, perhaps there was an opportunity to grab some small treat in the gift shop before boarding American Eagle commuter Flight 4148 to Chicago's O'Hare Airport. Waiting for them were loved ones eager to report on the day's happenings, cabs to catch, connections to make. Instead, there were news bulletins, phone calls, disbelief, devastation, shock, pain, grief, hearts broken, dreams dashed. Nancy (forty-eight), Cheryl (forty-four), Valerie (forty-four), Kathleen (forty-seven), Gilda (forty-three), Elizabeth (thirty-seven), and Patricia (forty-two), never made it home. For, as the plane was descending, the inconceivable occurred. All the women perished in a fiery crash, along with sixty-one other souls. In their final moments, did they realize they weren't going to make it? What were their last thoughts? It certainly wasn't the deal made or lost or how hassled their day had been. Surely their last thoughts were Real. Maybe the faces of those they loved pushed away the fear. Maybe there was no time for regrets. I hope so. I pray so. If we are alive, we cannot escape loss. Loss is a part of real life. "Have you ever thought, when something dreadful happens, a moment ago things were not like this; let it be then not now, anything but now?" The English novelist Mary Stewart asks, "And you try and try to remake then, but you know you can't. So you try to hold the moment quite still and not let it move on and show itself." Today might be tough for you. You might not want the next moment to show itself, to reveal the twists and turns of life's mystery. But at least you have it. You still have life. You still have a choice as to how you will live this precious day. Don't wish it away. Don't waste it. For the love of all that's holy, redeem one hour. Hold it close. Cherish it. Above all, be grateful for it. Let your thanksgiving rise above the din of disappointment -- opportunities lost, mistakes made, the clamor of all that has not yet come. And if today is so horrendous that the gift doesn't seem worth acknowledging; if you can't find one moment to enjoy, one simple pleasure to savor, one friend to call, one person to love, one thing to share, one smile to offer, if life is so difficult you don't want to bother living it to the fullest, then don't live today for yourself... Live it for Nancy, Cheryl, Valerie, Kathleen, Gilda, Elizabeth, and Patricia. ~ by Sarah Ban Breathnach, “Simple Abundance” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EVERYTHING REALLY DOES HAPPEN FOR A REASON Is it really true that everything happens for a reason? After all, that's an amazing thing to say - that no matter what happens to you, not only does something valuable come out of it but it's just what you need. Amazing as it sounds, it is true. It's taken me a long time, but I now see that even in the worst disaster - and I've had my share - there are wonderful gifts, hidden opportunities, or life-enhancing lessons. And we couldn't have gotten them any other way. If someone as hardheaded as I am can come to understand this, anyone can. Of course, sometimes it's easy for us to believe that everything happens for a reason. We see it in little ways, like when our plans for an evening out fall through at the last minute, and we discover that everything we really want is at home that night anyway. And sometimes we see it in not-so-little ways. A woman I know wrenched her back and had to spend a month in bed. She felt this was the last thing she needed in her life, particularly since it happened at a time when she had to make some important decisions. And then it hit her - this was exactly what she needed. Her old habit had been to rush impetuously into a new decision without thinking it through. Now it was as if life were saying, "If you won't give yourself time to think, I will." We very much want to believe that the things that happen to us have great meaning. It's the way we feel life should be. Yes, some days we feel our life's a soap opera. But we want - we need - to have the sense that there's a purpose and value to it all. And we're right. I want to reassure you: • When you discover the true meaning of the events in your life, everything changes. • You feel stronger because your sense that everything has meaning gives you great confidence. • You feel wiser because you see how everything connects. • You're more in touch with who you are because you know that you're living the life you were meant to lead. • And you're happier because you're able to put your loss behind you and have a sense of a future filled with good things. Until you get to this place, nothing is going to feel right. Let's say you're outdoors and you suddenly feel a drop of moisture fall on your head. You're not going to be able to think of anything else until you figure out why that happened. Is water dripping from some air conditioner up high? Is it starting to rain? Is a flying monkey peeing on your head? You have to know why that drop of moisture fell on your head because you can't feel safe going forward until you do. We need to know why much more when what fell on our heads is a catastrophe. If you can't make sense of the catastrophe, it's as if your life is mere dice on a crap table - if nothing has any meaning, everything's random, anything can happen. It's painful to live not knowing why you got so sick that time or why you lost the love of your life - much more painful than people suspect. One woman I know was flying home for Thanksgiving when she was in college. As the plane was flying along twenty thousand feet in the air, she developed a terrible earache. But that's not what made her cry. In the dark of a nighttime flight she was sobbing because there was pain like this in the world, seemingly without any rhyme or reason. One guy described this feeling differently: "When I think about the bad stuff that's happened in my life, I feel I'm just a goddamn fool of the cosmos. It's humiliating! On a sidewalk crowded with people, I'm the one who's stepped in the dog poop. No one else is as stupid or unlucky as I am. The problem is: How can I go forward, how can I trust the future if I feel I am this stupid unlucky guy?" Knowing that there's a reason for what happens also saves us from being filled with blame. Blame is a very human attempt to make sense of some catastrophe, but most of the time we hate the way it feels. And yet when something bad happens to us, it's almost a reflex to think, ‘It's because everyone hates me, because I'm a loser, because I'm doomed.’ And so the blame begins. We blame other people, and then we end up with the sense that the world is full of bad people. We blame ourselves, and then instead of feeling healthy, strong, and whole we see ourselves as sick, weak, and broken. And we blame life itself. What could be more demoralizing than feeling condemned to having bad things always happen to us and not being able to do anything about it? Blame is like a boomerang that loops around and bonks us on the noggin. Try this yourself: If you see someone struggling with sadness, anxiety and negativity, listen to his story. You'll soon see he's living in a world where all he sees are things to blame because he lives without positive meanings for what's happened to him. The only cure is to restore the sense that there is a good reason for everything that happens. Explain That, Why Don't You? Years ago, if you'd said to me, "Everything happens for a reason," I'd have said that was a lot of bull. Things have happened in my life that were so painful it's no wonder I'd had trouble finding their meaning, and I gave up looking. I now know that was a big mistake. Lots of things happen to us that challenge our sense that everything happens for a reason. It can be anything. You get seriously ill at the worst possible moment. You think you've found the love of your life but something goes haywire between you and now the two of you are over. You've had one of those really painful childhoods. You screw up and loose a lot of money. Someone you love dies. Yeah, we think, maybe there's a meaning for some things that happen, but not for this. And even if we still have a shred of faith left that there is meaning in these events, we don't know how to find it. After all, the events in our lives don't come to us with labels attached telling us what they mean. We can spend years searching in vain. We ask friends, but they haven't gone through what we have. We ask someone who has gone through something similar, but that person is probably struggling to find meaning, too. At some point we might be tempted to give up the search. That's what happened to me. It took one of my patients to wake me up and give me the hope that we can discover the meaning of the events in our lives. Everything important I've learned about how to do my job I've learned from my patients. Scott* was one of my best "teachers." The Message in the Bottle We all have dreams of what we'd like to do with our lives. When Scott first came to see me many years ago he was dreaming about going back to school and becoming a landscape designer. But he was afraid to give up his well-paying job. As you can imagine, addressing underlying issues of anxiety, low self-esteem, and identity played an important role in our work together. Soon, though, our work was all about helping him get what he needed to make his dream come true. He ultimately completed a two-year program at an excellent school and eventually opened his own little landscape-design business. He felt fulfilled. Several years later Scott came back to work with me. Sadly, he had non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and he thought he was dying. (Scott's cancer eventually went into remission. He's still okay.) He said he wanted to discover why this terrible disease had happened to him just when his life was starting to work out. "Isn't this really a theological question?" I asked Scott. Truthfully, I didn't want to deal with a question like this. My attitude at that time was that you could never find an answer. And anyway, the most important thing is to make the best use of the time you have remaining. Why ask why? But Scott, bless him, held onto his need. He was about to teach me an important lesson about how helping people is ultimately about helping them find meaning. After I'd dismissed his question Scott looked at me with tears in his eyes as if I'd betrayed him and said, "You don't understand. I don't want to die feeling like I was just some squirrel that got run over on the highway of life - hey, man, bad luck. I know that I'm not just a victim of a game of chance. I can't believe that I live in a universe where the things that happen to us don't have any meaning. There is some meaning in this, a message in a bottle for me. The message feels just out of reach, but it's very important to me. Help me get that message." Somehow that got through to me. I remembered how much I, too, had wanted to get that message back when I was a kid. (In a few moments I'll tell you about all the things that had happened to me and my family that left me hungry to find some kind of meaning and how discouraged I got when I didn't think I could find any.) Looking in Scott's eyes, I lost my sense of being pissed off at the universe because the things that happen to us don't come neatly labeled with their true meanings. Scott's need reawakened my own and all the hopes that came with it. I'd thought my need for meaning was dead. I'd acted as if it were dead. But the utter genuineness and validity of Scott's need made me realize that my own need for meaning had never died. Suddenly I felt a whole new connection to Scott, to my younger self, and to a world of people who were hungry to feel that what happens to them has meaning. There was just one problem: How in the world could I help Scott discover why he'd gotten sick and might die if I couldn't help myself? I found myself terribly moved as I told him that I saw how this situation should have meaning and then confessed that I didn't know how to help him find that meaning. I felt I'd failed him. And I felt terrible about it. But I made a promise to myself that I would learn how to help people find the true meanings of the events in their lives. Scott called several months later. He obviously wasn't as disappointed in me as I was in myself. I guess we all know how tough this search is. He had a note of triumph in his voice. "I know why I got sick!" he said. "Look at where I was in my life. I'd made a lot of progress, but I was still frightened of so many things - flying, confrontations, bad news, you name it. Here's the gift getting sick gave me. Every day I'm learning not to be afraid, big-time! Death is the big confrontation. Once you face death, how can you be afraid of, like, someone rejecting you? You know, it's true: “Cowards die a thousand deaths, heroes die but once.” I'd rather live a short life without fear than the living death of a long life filled with fear. "And I wouldn't have discovered any of this if I hadn't gotten sick. I don't know how much time I have left to live, but in the time I have left I'm feeling more alive and less afraid than I ever did before." Everyone who survives something feels they have a new lease on life. But Scott felt he had a new lease on life even when he thought he was dying. Understanding that there was meaning in what was happening to him, discovering what that meaning was, made all the difference for him. It made all the difference for me, too. Excerpted from “Everything Happens for a Reason”. ~ Author Unknown ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cancer: ‘I FEEL’ 3rd Decan Influence: ‘ASSIMILATION’ July 13th – July 23rd Cancer is mutable in its third decan for at the end, things are always phasing out and the new is felt. As you know, all the signs rule some part of the body and Cancer rules the stomach. The stomach assimilates. Assimilate means to "take in." Just as the stomach takes in our food, the Cancer person takes in also, taking others into his arms and into his heart. It is appropriate too that this follows sympathy, for only when we have taken others' feelings are we prepared to take them into our hearts. When we suffer with people it is then that we want to take them into our arms. Cancer influences us to learn more about our Feelings. First to feel our own inner knowing: INTUITION; then to feel with others in SYMPATHY; and finally to take others' into our lives and thus ASSIMILATE them. This is brotherhood! This is sisterhood! It is this unity which the Wise people seek through their harmony with each other and the Gods. To be -- To have - To think - and finally to rise to our mental lives through our feelings and to take others, as our beloved brothers and sisters, into ourselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For more on the lessons of CANCER see: http://druidcraft.us/astrology.htm ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE? To learn more about the teachings of the DRUIDIC CRAFT OF THE WISE visit the “Courses” page on the website: http://druidcraft.us You are a blessed being! Misty-Eve* Druidic Craft of the Wise The American Rite http://druidcraft.us One of the ways we become wise is through our association with, and our assimilation of the perspective of those we consider wise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A WORD TO THE WISE A Daily Newsletter of Astrological Reflections from The Druid Perspective ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Share A WORD TO THE WISE with those you care about. Reproductions are permitted with the use of the following tag line: (C) Reproductions Permitted: http://awordtothewise.info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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| Last Updated ( Saturday, 19 July 2008 ) | ||||||||||||
We have come into this life with a particular vibration determined by the set of weaknesses we’re here to overcome and the set of strengths we’re here to acquire – prearranged before birth. Life becomes a journey through the circumstances we attract to us with the vibrational frequency of our thoughts.
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