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 Empathy is a taking in of other’s feelings in such a strong way that we actually experience the emotions themselves. I discovered long ago that if I talk to one someone I care about long enough I’ll begin to feel where they hurt.
Does my own sensitivity to the way other people are feeling have to affect my own countenance? If someone else in the room is feeling down or angry, do I necessarily have to allow that energy to change my own? Absolutely not!
My husband and I have been doing pretty good as far as our on-going goal to separate while remaining friendly and caring of each other. Yesterday, things weren't going so well for either of us. I'd learned that there were a few more expensive things wrong with my car, but figured out a way to swing the added repairs anyway. He'd become frustrated that there are becoming several stumbling blocks to his plans for taking a week-long trip out of state next week, and the fact that my computer isn't being easy to fix and may not be operable before he leaves.
When I got the news about my added car repair expenses, my head started to spin and after checking my blood pressure I knew this news was affecting me adversely. So I put my head down on the desk, and relaxed a few minutes, while going over my gratitudes and a future delightful goal that generates happy feelings for me. After 10 minutes of this I checked my BP again, and to my delight I discovered it was totally within normal limits!! Yay!
He'd said something harsh during the evening that I could see was just a reflection of the frustration he was experiencing, but I overlooked it because it was really more about him than it was about me. When I am connected to Source Energy through the happiness and well-being that I am experiencing, that light will out shine any other feeling around me, especially if I continue to draw from that source rather than change my focus to the lower vibration of some other less happy experience.
“Your job is to be a deliberate Creator, and flow energy so deliberately that the vibrations of other people are uplifted by your vibration, rather than your’s being brought down by theirs. Your connection to the stream is not fragile. If you get solidly connected, not only can other people not have a negative effect on you, you must have a positive effect on them. One person who IS connected to the stream of well-being is more powerful than a million who are not!”
~ Abraham-Hicks
Assimilating or taking in the feelings of others is a special tool I use for tuning into another person, but I don’t allow that to effect or change my own vibrational setting, if I can help it.
"When you are in the state of positive emotion and considering only what YOU are doing or thinking or speaking, you are ALLOWING YOURSELF. When you are in the state of positive emotion regarding your view into ANOTHER's experience, you are ALLOWING ANOTHER. It is that simple .... And so, you cannot have negative emotion about yourself and be in the state of ALLOWING yourself."
~ Abraham-Hicks
Do you allow those you are around to change your emotional setting?
Are you strong enough to take in the feelings of others without allowing their vibration to bring you down?
It’s worth thinking about…
~ Misty-Eve*
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"YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!”
~ The Borg Queen (Star Trek, TNG)
A shocking statement, to be sure! However, we don’t have to lose ourselves in the process of “taking other’s feelings into ourselves”.
Where do we draw the line?
In kindergarten, it was the kids that threw clay out the window. In the fifth grade, it was the kids that skipped class. In high school, it was the kids that smoked, got drunk, and did drugs. Even in our adult lives, there are, and will always be, those people who unjustly influence the lives of others. This influence is known as peer pressure.
Peer pressure is the psychological force exerted by another, or others, in equal standing, which often influences one into acting or behaving in a manner that is generally inconsistent with one's normal behavior. It is this influence that one can choose to accept or not accept. It is important to understand that no one, besides you, can control the direction of your life. We are endowed with the gift of choice and decision, and we must take full responsibility for the decisions we make in life.
All peer pressure is not always bad. It is certainly possible there can be pressure to "follow the crowd" to do homework and to get good grades. The key factor is thinking for yourself and doing what is consistent with your goals and life purpose.
Peer pressure is not something that only kids face. Throughout our entire lives we deal with peer pressure. Some of the most destructive forms of peer pressure are those that cause us to "fall in line" by living a life of accomplishment far below what we are capable of, just because it is what our peers do. Giving into peer pressure begins the life-long habit that keeps most people far away from success. As we know, it is never too late to change and break destructive habits.
Why do people give into peer pressure?
The main reason, and the reason preached to most kids these days, is the need for belonging. This is part of Abraham Maslow's "love needs" which is right after safety needs, in the middle of the hierarchy. We all have a desire to fit in and to be accepted. However, one often looks for acceptance in groups that work against one's achievement of success. It takes a leader to delay this need for belonging and reject the pressure. Soon, others will follow and the need for belonging will be met. One must have faith.
Here are some other reasons why people give in to peer pressure, that are less known but equally as responsible.
• The lack of self-confidence to go one's own way. It is easier to follow the footsteps of another than to make your own. There is also a certain level of safety that comes with following another. Taking the road less traveled by making your own choices takes self-confidence and self-assurance. • The desire to avoid embarrassment. Many people fear embarrassment more than death. Knowing this, it is easy to see how important effective communication can be in responding to peer pressure. For example, if a bunch of peers surround a teenager and asked him if he wants to smoke a cigarette like the rest of them have, and all the teenager can think of is, "but... my mom said I should just say no," then he is in trouble. It is best to prepare yourself and your children with witty, yet clear responses to known peer pressures. For example, in the above situation the teenager could say, "Hmmm, spend my life wasting money, offending people, having bad breath, and killing myself.... no thanks." A good response cannot only save one from embarrassment, but give others the confidence to not give in to the peer pressure as well. Those who lead are often well respected by those who follow. • The lack of using one's own mind. Again it is reacting, rather than responding that causes one to get in trouble. Think about the consequences of your actions, both present and future. Don't give in and sacrifice your long-term goals for short-term gratification. • The lack of unbiased information. When someone feels pressure from peers, they are often presented with biased information. Again it is preparation that can help one to avoid peer pressure by knowing all the facts. Anticipate peer pressure in life and get the facts from a reliable source. Educate yourself and your children - don't count on the school system to do it. Some of the more common peer pressures experienced in youth that can be prepared for today are smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex, cutting class and committing crimes. The biggest peer pressure in adulthood is being expected to behave, act, and perform like your peers rather than becoming the person you are capable of becoming. Know the reasons for and against these pressures.
People are often categorized as either leaders or followers. Be a leader! Think before you act, and act on what you believe. Never allow others to influence your actions or behaviors without deciding for yourself if it is consistent with your goals in life.”
© Reproductions Permitted http://www.yeartosuccess.com
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ASSIMILATION: QUOTES OF THE DAY
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“The major question to be pondered is whether we can develop an identity that will enable us to meet the outside world without feeling threatened or intimidated. We can absorb from others without being smothered. We can appreciate and assimilate that which we see as wisdom while at the same time feel firmly anchored to our particular frame of reference.”
~ Rabbi David Hartman, A Different Light
“People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.”
~ Norman Cousins (1912-1990) American Essayist and Editor, long associated with the Saturday Review.
“Adaptation to one’s environment takes place through the two complementary processes of assimilation and accommodation. Broadly speaking, Assimilation describes the capacity of a person to handle new situations and new problems with his present stock of mechanisms; Accommodation describes the process of changing through which the person becomes able to manage situations that are at first too difficult for it".
~ Baldwin, Theories of Child Development
“Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other - it doesn't matter who it is - and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.”
~ Mother Teresa
“You have more harmony points with every person on the planet than you have disharmony points, because there is much more of you that is in harmony with your Core than you realize or that most of you allow. The closer you come to being in harmony with your Source Energy, the more in harmony you are with each other.
“When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought.
“If nothing is more important to you than that you feel good, you can form a fantasy about someone who is in your life and they will begin to modify to meet your fantasy, because Law of Attraction is a very powerful thing.”
~ Abraham-Hicks
“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
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STAYING AFLOAT AMIDST THE SPIN
Taking Things Personally
Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.
If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.
When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.
© Reproductions Permitted http://www.DailyOM.com
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Cancer: ‘I FEEL’
3rd Decan Influence: ‘ASSIMILATION’
July 13th – July 23rd
Cancer is mutable in its third decan for at the end, things are always phasing out and the new is felt. As you know, all the signs rule some part of the body and Cancer rules the stomach. The stomach assimilates. Assimilate means to "take in." Just as the stomach takes in our food, the Cancer person takes in also, taking others into his arms and into his heart. It is appropriate too that this follows sympathy, for only when we have taken others' feelings are we prepared to take them into our hearts. When we suffer with people it is then that we want to take them into our arms.
Cancer influences us to learn more about our Feelings. First to feel our own inner knowing: INTUITION; then to feel with others in SYMPATHY; and finally to take others' into our lives and thus ASSIMILATE them. This is brotherhood! This is sisterhood! It is this unity which the Wise people seek through their harmony with each other and the Gods. To be -- To have - To think - and finally to rise to our mental lives through our feelings and to take others, as our beloved brothers and sisters, into ourselves.
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For more on the lessons of CANCER see: http://druidcraft.us/astrology.htm
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DO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE?
To learn more about the teachings of the DRUIDIC CRAFT OF THE WISE visit the “Courses” page on the website: http://druidcraft.us
You are a blessed being!
Misty-Eve*
Druidic Craft of the Wise
The American Rite
http://druidcraft.us
One of the ways we become wise is through our association with, and our assimilation of the perspective of those we consider wise.
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A WORD TO THE WISE
A Daily Newsletter of Astrological Reflections from The Druid Perspective
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